Key Competencies to Accelerate Your Career
- Bobby Weeks
- Aug 16, 2024
- 5 min read
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August 16, 2024
The Power of Soft Skills: Key Competencies to Accelerate Your Career
Inspired by: Ben Meer

In today's fast-paced, hyper-competitive professional world, technical proficiency alone is not enough to guarantee success. Imagine a symphony where every musician plays with technical perfection but lacks the ability to listen to others or communicate their passion. The result would be a mechanically sound but emotionally barren performance. Similarly, in the workplace, soft skills—often referred to as interpersonal or people skills—serve as the connective tissue that binds technical expertise into a harmonious and effective performance. These skills are not just nice-to-haves; they are essential for anyone looking to advance their career and stand out in a crowded marketplace.
1. Make People Feel Important: The SHR Method
To truly excel in any professional setting, it is crucial to make others feel valued. This is where the SHR (Seen, Heard, Remembered) Method comes into play. This approach is not just about basic politeness; it involves actively engaging with colleagues, clients, and subordinates in a way that makes them feel genuinely appreciated. According to Goleman (2006), emotional intelligence, which includes the ability to make others feel valued, is a better predictor of success than IQ in many cases. When people feel seen, heard, and remembered, they are more likely to collaborate effectively and contribute to a positive work environment.
Practical Tip: Use mnemonic devices or repeat a person’s name several times during your conversation to help remember it. Over time, this practice will become second nature.
2. Hone Your Body Language: The 7-38-55 Rule
Communication is much more than words; in fact, words account for only 7% of communication according to the 7-38-55 rule. The remaining 93% is conveyed through tone of voice (38%) and body language (55%) (Mehrabian, 1971). Mastering non-verbal cues can dramatically enhance your ability to communicate effectively. Whether it’s maintaining eye contact during a conversation or adopting an open posture, these subtle signals can make a huge difference in how your message is received.
Practical Tip: Practice your presentations in front of a mirror or record yourself to become more aware of your body language. Small changes, such as standing up straight or smiling more often, can significantly impact your communication effectiveness.
3. Master the 4-Bullet Update
In today’s fast-paced work environment, brevity is a valuable currency. The 4-Bullet Update is an effective tool for concise communication. This method involves breaking down updates into four simple bullets: what was asked, what was done, any risks or blockers, and what could be done with more time. This format ensures that your updates are clear, focused, and actionable, making it easier for supervisors and team members to grasp the essentials without getting lost in unnecessary details.
Practical Tip: Use the 4-Bullet Update in your next email or meeting. It will not only save time but also demonstrate your organizational skills and clarity of thought.
4. Record and Study Your Speaking: Be the Outlier
Public speaking and presentation skills are critical in almost every profession. However, most people shy away from recording themselves, missing out on a valuable learning tool. Recording and reviewing your speeches or presentations allows you to identify areas for improvement that you might not notice in the moment. As noted by research from the University of California, Los Angeles, self-assessment and peer feedback are crucial for improving communication skills (Orsmond & Merry, 2013).
Practical Tip: Make it a habit to record your presentations and review them critically. Look for patterns in your speech that could be improved, such as filler words or pacing issues.
5. Ask Rapport-Building Questions: Your Net Worth Depends on It
Building rapport is not just about being friendly; it's about creating connections that can open doors to new opportunities. The questions you ask can make a significant difference in how relationships develop. According to research published in Harvard Business Review, asking open-ended questions facilitate deeper connections and more meaningful conversations (Huang et al., 2017). Whether networking at a conference or collaborating with a colleague, the right questions can establish trust and build a strong foundation for future interactions.
Practical Tip: Start your conversations with open-ended questions like, "What inspired you to get into this field?" or "What challenges are you currently facing?" This approach encourages others to open up and facilitates more engaging discussions.
6. Don’t Complain or Gossip—Ever
While it may be tempting to vent frustrations or engage in office gossip, doing so can be detrimental to your professional reputation. Complaining and gossiping not only create a toxic work environment but also reflect poorly on your character and reliability. Research has shown that maintaining a positive attitude and refraining from negative talk can improve workplace morale and productivity (Bakker & Demerouti, 2017).
Practical Tip: If you find yourself in a situation where others are gossiping or complaining, steer the conversation towards a more constructive topic or excuse yourself politely.
7. Remember All the Names: People, Loved Ones, and Pets
Remembering names is a small but powerful way to show respect and attention to detail. This skill can be particularly valuable in networking situations or when building relationships with clients. A study by Cohen and Gunz (2002) highlights that personal recognition significantly enhances interpersonal interactions, making people more likely to engage with and trust you.
Practical Tip: Make it a habit to remember and use people's names in conversations. It sounds simple, but Dale Carnegie once said, "A person's name is to that person the sweetest sound in any language."
Soft skills are the invisible threads that weave together the fabric of a successful career. By mastering these competencies—making others feel important, honing body language, communicating concisely, recording and studying your speech, asking rapport-building questions, avoiding negative talk, and remembering names—you can accelerate your career trajectory and stand out as a true professional. As you develop these skills, remember that they are not just tools for professional success but also for personal growth, helping you build stronger, more meaningful connections in all areas of your life.
Thank you Ben for your thought-provoking insight!
Ask Ben about Key Competencies to Accelerate Your Career at https://benmeer.com/
References
Bakker, A. B., & Demerouti, E. (2017). Job demands–resources theory: Taking stock and looking forward. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 22(3), 273-285.
Cohen, G., & Gunz, A. (2002). As seen by the other: Perspectives on the self in the memories and emotional perceptions of people with close social ties. Memory, 10(2), 135-144.
Goleman, D. (2006). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Bantam.
Huang, K., Yeomans, M., & Minson, J. A. (2017). It doesn’t hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking. Harvard Business Review.
Mehrabian, A. (1971). Silent messages (1st ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
Orsmond, P., & Merry, S. (2013). Feedback alignment: Effective strategies and student perceptions. Assessment & Evaluation in Higher Education, 38(2), 240-252.



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